36 Weeks: Workin' Mama To Be

This week I was a jet setting, career focused mama-to-be. Yes, I have flown a few times in this pregnancy, but flying a mere 4-3 weeks before delivery date was a bit in question. The good news is I have been feeling fine and got checked out by the doctor Monday clearing me for my conference in Phoenix this week. So I've spent the last four days here in sunny (and some days not so sunny) Phoenix!  If it was a normal trip I would have passed, but this was a great opportunity that doesn't present itself everyday which was to bring 60 emerging non-profit leaders together from across the country to expand our leadership skills and mind share with one another - how do you pass up a chance to grow and learn like that!? 

Well I don't - but I'm starting to learn that my "can do" attitude of work and mommyhood isn't shared by all. Apparently some still see pregnant women as glass dolls in cases that could break at any moment. Many people upon finding out I was taking the trip either held their objections behind judgmental eyes or weren't shy at all about their feelings that I shouldn't go. Now, as my mother will be happy to share with you about my childhood, I don't take the word "no" very well. In fact, many times it just rallies my defiance that I can do whatever I damn well please, thank you very much! Granted I'll be the first to admit I'm not the same as I used to be, each day the conference ended by 7:30 or 8pm and I was straight to bed, whereas in my past life I would be rallying the troops at the hotel bar. However, am I naive to think that I can continue to grow in my education and in my career while pregnant, and even as a mother?

It has been eye opening for me that in this day in age people still have a preconceived notion that my place at this point in my pregnancy - and after baby is here - is to be at home. I was prepared for men to throw jabs here and there, which I've taken with as much grace as a bull in a china shop, about my plans to work up till baby and go back to work after two months. However, I've found that the ones who are the largest nay-sayers of mommies in work are women! WOMEN!? I really didn't see that one coming. I can understand everyone has a different experience and I will be the first to admit that we are just going to have to be flexible with what comes - but to hear other women say "you shouldn't..." "you can't..." "you won't want to..." is mind boggling to me. I can understand that my plan may change and that this is a life changing event at which  I will have to take one day at a time - but I would have thought other women would be supportive of one another in this transition without interjecting their opinions of what you can and can't do.

This all reminded me of an article I read in the Harvard Business Review shortly after finding out I was pregnant (yes I'm a geek and I read the Harvard Business Review). You can see how the title caught my eye "Will Working Mother's Take You To Court?" What was interesting to me about the article was that even in today's world we still hold on to some 1950's dated preconceived notions about mothers, and even fathers, in the workplace. The gist being that women who return to work may face discrimination about how they should be at home with baby and not working late, and that fathers should be working late to provide for their families and not at home with their families - and never shall the two mix. It's not until now that I'm starting to see a hint of these outdated notions myself, and it's startling to see in the robust, liberal city that I live in. I should note that my immediate circle of family, co-workers and friends are not guilty of this - but rather, and most interestingly, the outer layer of my network who feel the need to share their opinions.

So for the record, yes, I plan to work up till baby is here, yes, I plan to go back to work after two months so I can make my second emerging leaders training in Atlanta. Do I understand that once baby is here things may change and I have to be flexible? Yes, of course I do - but I'll never admit that I "can't" do anything without having all the information needed in front of me and at this point the information needed is hiding in a 6 pound basketball in my tummy. So only time will tell, and I am okay with that, so why isn't the rest of the world?

Note: If you are interested in reading the article from the Harvard Business Review send me a note - I couldn't post the PDF to the blog but can send over in email.