36 Weeks: Workin' Mama To Be

This week I was a jet setting, career focused mama-to-be. Yes, I have flown a few times in this pregnancy, but flying a mere 4-3 weeks before delivery date was a bit in question. The good news is I have been feeling fine and got checked out by the doctor Monday clearing me for my conference in Phoenix this week. So I've spent the last four days here in sunny (and some days not so sunny) Phoenix!  If it was a normal trip I would have passed, but this was a great opportunity that doesn't present itself everyday which was to bring 60 emerging non-profit leaders together from across the country to expand our leadership skills and mind share with one another - how do you pass up a chance to grow and learn like that!? 

Well I don't - but I'm starting to learn that my "can do" attitude of work and mommyhood isn't shared by all. Apparently some still see pregnant women as glass dolls in cases that could break at any moment. Many people upon finding out I was taking the trip either held their objections behind judgmental eyes or weren't shy at all about their feelings that I shouldn't go. Now, as my mother will be happy to share with you about my childhood, I don't take the word "no" very well. In fact, many times it just rallies my defiance that I can do whatever I damn well please, thank you very much! Granted I'll be the first to admit I'm not the same as I used to be, each day the conference ended by 7:30 or 8pm and I was straight to bed, whereas in my past life I would be rallying the troops at the hotel bar. However, am I naive to think that I can continue to grow in my education and in my career while pregnant, and even as a mother?

It has been eye opening for me that in this day in age people still have a preconceived notion that my place at this point in my pregnancy - and after baby is here - is to be at home. I was prepared for men to throw jabs here and there, which I've taken with as much grace as a bull in a china shop, about my plans to work up till baby and go back to work after two months. However, I've found that the ones who are the largest nay-sayers of mommies in work are women! WOMEN!? I really didn't see that one coming. I can understand everyone has a different experience and I will be the first to admit that we are just going to have to be flexible with what comes - but to hear other women say "you shouldn't..." "you can't..." "you won't want to..." is mind boggling to me. I can understand that my plan may change and that this is a life changing event at which  I will have to take one day at a time - but I would have thought other women would be supportive of one another in this transition without interjecting their opinions of what you can and can't do.

This all reminded me of an article I read in the Harvard Business Review shortly after finding out I was pregnant (yes I'm a geek and I read the Harvard Business Review). You can see how the title caught my eye "Will Working Mother's Take You To Court?" What was interesting to me about the article was that even in today's world we still hold on to some 1950's dated preconceived notions about mothers, and even fathers, in the workplace. The gist being that women who return to work may face discrimination about how they should be at home with baby and not working late, and that fathers should be working late to provide for their families and not at home with their families - and never shall the two mix. It's not until now that I'm starting to see a hint of these outdated notions myself, and it's startling to see in the robust, liberal city that I live in. I should note that my immediate circle of family, co-workers and friends are not guilty of this - but rather, and most interestingly, the outer layer of my network who feel the need to share their opinions.

So for the record, yes, I plan to work up till baby is here, yes, I plan to go back to work after two months so I can make my second emerging leaders training in Atlanta. Do I understand that once baby is here things may change and I have to be flexible? Yes, of course I do - but I'll never admit that I "can't" do anything without having all the information needed in front of me and at this point the information needed is hiding in a 6 pound basketball in my tummy. So only time will tell, and I am okay with that, so why isn't the rest of the world?

Note: If you are interested in reading the article from the Harvard Business Review send me a note - I couldn't post the PDF to the blog but can send over in email.

34 Weeks: Learning How to Have A Baby

The 34 week bump - apparently Baby Fish is around 4 pounds right now - meaning he's likely to double in size in the next 6 weeks - does that even seem possible?

This week I had a moment where I was watching TV and something came on about pregnancy and I looked down and thought - "Oh my god, I'm pregnant!"  It's not that I haven't realized this all along - but for some reason it really hit me. I think the realization that this growing bump will have to eventually leave my body is setting in with just six weeks left to go. To help us figure out exactly how that is suppose to go down Brett and I have been going to our "Child Birth Prep Class."  Apparently old college habits are still lingering because we skipped our second class due to an out of town guest being here so last week was a bit of catch up - and an eye opener for us.

First, I really like our coach - she's of the mindset that whatever "plan" you choose for yourself and your family is the right plan. Her only thing is that you go into pregnancy educated and flexible to change. With that said we went through all the different ways your doctor may help a "stuck" baby get out (forceps, vacuums, episiotomies, and inductions - oh my!)  It was around the point of talking about an episiotomy that I had to excuse myself from the room. Baby has been sitting very high in my tummy making it hard to breath when I am sitting - that paired with discussions of an episiotomy was enough to make me pass out cold. So, as I saw the room narrowing in front of me I opted to leave rather than hit the floor in front of all the other expecting mamas:-)

Next up in class was breathing techniques and positions!  Hmm, wait positions? Don't you mean "position" singular? All the movies have led me to believe you just kick back in bed and push, push, push with a few screams and out pops baby.  Well apparently there are allllll sorts of positions to help you through your contractions and we got to practice in class - I have to admit it was hard not to laugh as I turned Brett into my own personal jungle gym. He also thought his role in this was to hold my had and speak encouraging words into my ear. We now know differently - and I have to admit - holding these positions for one minute is more difficult that I would have originally thought.  Don't believe me? Try out one of the below and start your timer!

33 Weeks: Showered with Love

Brett and I have been totally overwhelmed at the love and support of our family and friends since we started this adventure. Mom's friends threw a fabulous baby shower with a rockin diaper cake and this past weekend my friends and family threw another wonderful event. Not only did my fabulous cousin Katy come in from Colorado, her mom, Aunt Kathy, surprised me on the trip as well!  It was a lovely "fish" themed shower - which I should have expected since we've taken to calling our little-man-to-be "Baby Fish."  They even topped off the diaper cake with some real live goldfish (as shown below with my niece). Thankfully she called dibs on them naming them Slim Jim, Fred and Bob - I don't have the best track record at keeping fish alive! Check out some of the cuteness from the event and the fabulous ladies who made it all so special.  Thank you everyone!  We couldn't do it without you.

Our fabulous hostesses for the shower! Katy (cousin from Colorado), Rachel (pdx girlfriend), Olivia (the fabulous niece), Mwah (hopefully you at least knew that one), Leslie (pdx girlfriend) and Kim (my wonderful sister-in-law)

The fabulous friends and family who made the day so special!

The "Fish" themed baby shower to welcome none other than - baby fish! And yes I'm still rocking water in my cocktail glass - looking forward to my first real drink post baby (some champagne perhaps - thank you Joe!)

The Fish Theme continued with the gifts - little fish and shark boots from Katy!

Do I look confused? There were definitely a few moments of realization that I had no idea what somethings were - leading to that fun feeling that I have no idea how my world is about to be rocked!

Jackie with her little swaddled clay baby she made. 

More gifts and a big shout out to Brumund for  our first safety sign - we always knew we could count you  to keep Baby Fish safe!

Julie, Mom and Jackie hanging out at the shower!

Rachel, Myself and Leslie striking a pose before everyone arrives.

32 Weeks: A "Perfect" Baby

As those of you know who have been following along on this adventure we've had some less than desirable doctor visits - we have especially learned to loath the ultrasound. So you can imagine how bummed we were to learn we had to go back for ANOTHER ultrasound just to ensure everything with baby's brain was developing on schedule. We were really unsure if we wanted to go through it all again but with prompting from our geneticist and doctor we finally caved and went in last week. After goin "belly up" on the table one last time we got to hear those magic little words "your baby looks perfect."  PERFECT! I would have taken average, normal, fine, okay...but the doctor chose to use the words perfect, and I have chosen to hold onto that little morsel all week long. Perhaps ultrasounds aren't so bad after all :-)

Physically I've been pretty lucky throughout the pregnancy, (minus the whole wedding fainting fiasco), but as we head into the final weeks I have to admit things are getting a bit more uncomfortable. Once we were done holding our breath through the ultrasound it was nice to make sense of some of the kicks, bumps and fist pumps - apparently what is lodged into my left ribs would be two adorable little feet with ten little toes. My right ribs? The babies bum. And resting nice and heavy on my bladder would be the babies head - which has proven to be a bit of an issue since Bebe Fish has had two cases of the hiccups this week fooling me into false emergency bathroom runs.  Ahh the glamorous side of pregnancy!

31 Weeks: Making a List and Checking It Twice

We had a great time visiting family and friends over the holidays - however we found there were so many questions about any and everything we haven't taken care of! As if the holidays aren't stressful enough we started to feel the impending pressure to get our non-work lives in order because a lot is about to change in t-minus 9 weeks!  Eeek!

So what does this list look like? Well the internet will scare the living begeezus out of you with their "lists" of everything the perfect mom-to-be just HAS to take care of on a weekly basis to be considered "whole."  I on the other hand have created my own prioritized list in order to maintain my sanity:-)

Honey Do List (before baby comes):

• Complete Baby Registry
• Sign up for a "How to Have a Baby" class
• Nursery - get painted and purchase items so they can "air out" before baby comes.
• Pediatrician - Set up interviews and determine our baby doctor.
• Daycare vs. Nanny - The most daunting task.
• Diapers! Disposable? Diaper Service? G-Diapers?
• Update financial records (taxes, 401k beneficiaries...make a will...eek!)
• Birth Plan - where I let the hospital know just how to deliver my baby (my plan = get baby out health - end of plan).
• Pre-Register at Hospital for Delivery - because the day of the big event it's the last thing we'll want to do.
• Banking Cord Blood - to bank or not to bank - that is the real question.
• Car Seat - buy one and get inspected by hospital or fire dept.
• Diaper Bag - Figure out what is suppose to go in it!
• Mommy Bag for Hospital - Get it packed and kept in the car for the upcoming delivery.
• Oh yeah....and that little thing called NAMING THE BABY!

The internet and all the baby books will tell you all the other things you "should" be doing right now, and they are very fond of letting you know just how far behind you are in your mommy to be tasks but to them I say phewy!  The only other things I plan to add to my list are the following:

• Massage
• Pedicure
• ....and that's it:-)

30 Weeks: Bump Magnet

First off - it seems surreal to write 30 weeks, when did that happen? I suppose traveling for two weeks will throw you into a bit of a time warp. In our travels to Albuquerque, Denver, Buena Vista and Dallas over the holiday break we had a lot of fun looking through photos of all our friends and family from the trip - then we noticed a bit of a trend.  The bump has become a magnet for photo love!

My cousin Katy showing Bebe Fish some love after a day in the hot springs in Colorado - although I was restricted to the "warm springs" which was set at a temp of 95...in 20 degree weather even that feels a bit cool to me. (Fun Fact: pregnant women can't get their body temp above 102). 

Uncle John and Aunt Kathy getting their bump love after a tasty dinner in Evergreen, CO. (Does Aunt Kathy look familiar? She and my mom are twins!)

Bump love was in overload in Texas with all of Brett's college buddies. After many pats, rubs and even a kiss (or blessing as Frick likes to refer to it) Bebe Fish is feeling very loved right about now.

By the end of the trip I even embraced the bump love:-) Brett and I at the fabulous wedding of Greg and Elizabeth in Dallas.

29 Weeks: Pregnancy Brain & Travel

Taking on the great outdoors in sunny - and freezing - Colorado.

All I'm going to say is - it's true - pregnancy brain is very real despite my earlier opinion that it was a convenient excuse of women to use. Still not a believer? Let me  give you a few examples of just how off my game I have been as of late:

1. The Thanksgiving Smokehouse: deciding to go for a quick run with the hubby while the pies cooked on Thanksgiving Day I forgot that I had put the pan on the stovetop with oil in it - turned on the burner and left. It wasn't till we were 1.5 miles away in our run that I sent Brett back because I was concerned about the pies (my running is much more leisurely now). After he took off I had a moment of "huh, did I....."  The answer is yes, yes I did leave a pan with oil in it simmering on high in our house for 30 minutes. I came home to a house with all the windows and doors open - Brett said the house was filled with smoke and the fire alarm was going off when he arrived....hmmm oops!

2. San Diego / Albuquerque - Same thing right?!: For Christmas and New Years we took off for a two week adventure to visit our families in New Mexico and Colorado and top the trip off with a wedding in Dallas. Typically I'm in charge of travel plans in the Fisher household - as such we were standing in line waiting to get on our flight, when there were about 4 people ahead of us to board the plane I looked up and noticed the gate said "San Diego" not "Albuquerque"...for a hot second I thought maybe it was one of those flights with the min-layover someplace before heading on to the final destination - until I saw Albuquerque was boarding across the hallway - whoops!

3. Jackets on Planes: After a good chuckle about the "almost" vaca to San Diego we were thrilled to actually arrive in Albuquerque. Upon arrival we get off and greet Brett's parents who are telling us that it's been around 20 degrees lately, which prompted me to congratulate myself for bringing my big coat (and only coat that still fits around the belly) to keep me warm.....hmm you mean the big coat I left snug as a bug in the rug on the plane we just got off. Dang! 0-2 on this trip so far. After a quick security pass and dealing with the jokes of the TSA guys about their own wive's pregnancy brains I made it back through security, to the gate with coat in hand.

There were a few more small mishaps on our adventures but the good news is we made each flight of our travels, perhaps not gracefully, but we made it! I was borderline neurotic the rest of the trip about checking, double checking and triple checking all the time for my coat, license, credit cards, phone, camera, etc. I'm looking forward to being sane again however I hear pregnancy brain is replaced by mommy brain - perhaps that is why mom's always have so many to-do lists written out...